Following a spate of unsolved sexual assaults in Brooklyn, New York City Police are asking women to show a little less skin.

According to a Wall Street Journal article, an officer explained to women on the street that such clothing could make the suspect think he had ‘easy access.’  You’re exactly the kind of girl this guy is targeting.”   Apparently the reason the officer felt compelled to spell it out so bluntly is that the previous victims were often wearing skirts at the time of their attack.

One woman’s online comment to the article hit the nail on the head, “This is why several handicapped women in diapers at nursing facility were raped recently.”

What a woman wears is not the issue.  Sure, you could argue that miniskirts, stilettos, and midriff baring tank tops are provocative.   Does that mean women are ‘asking for it’?  Is it right to focus on the clothing when attention should be focused on advocacy and education?  Blaming the victims is getting old, as the international success of SlutWalks is proving.

While, I’m not personally a fan of using the word slut as part of a national movement to fight for women’s rights, I understand the desire to take possession of the word and throw it back in the face of those that dare call a women slut or whore because of who she is dressed.  And the controversial word in a marketing sense, has created a global movement.  Elizabeth Webb, the organizer of SlutWalk Dallas said it best,  “If someone breaks into a house, do you blame the owner for having a house that looks appetizing?”  Indeed, a crime should be blamed on the criminal, not the victim.

And let’s face it.  If simply covering up would solve the problem, countries like Afghanistan should be one of the safest countries in the world to be a woman.  Yet in a country where women are often shielded from prying eyes so completely that you can’t even pick one woman out from another in a line up, rape is just as prevalent as in countries where women flash their breasts at college frat parties to get on the latest “Girls Gone Wild” video.   The land of headscarves, hijabs, and burqas, Afghanistan is repeatedly ranked as the number one worst place in the world to be a woman.  The worst.  In the world.   In Afghanistan, many rape victims are in jail under morality codes, while their attackers walk free without even disapproving look.  If the victims live in a rural community away from an urban center, ie. the majority of Afghanistan, then its more likely that the family or community leaders will ‘take care’ of the problem themselves, which doesn’t mean a lecture on covering up or jail time.

Now granted, there is an enormous distinction in how the victims are blamed in a country like Afghanistan, but it doesn’t negate the fact that the victims are still blamed here in the West.  In New York, the police ask women to show a little less skin.  In Toronto, a policeman stated to legal students, “I’m not supposed to say this, but to prevent being sexually assaulted?  Avoid dressing like sluts.”

In other cases women are made to defend themselves in court against their attacker having their previous sexual history trotted out as though its proof that she was complicit in the attack in some way.   Questioning even if they could have been actually raped wearing jeans, implying it must have been consensual due the logistics of access.  Women must defend their actions of owning vibrators, or getting drunk, or being sexually promiscuous instead of the attention landing squarely at the foot of the attacker.

Male rape occurs as well worldwide, it’s much less reported, but common in countries like Afghanistan with their ‘dancing boys’, and as a weapon of war in countries like Congo. It is no less horrific or humiliating, but not once have I ever seen or heard comments about how the man was dressed, his sexual proclivities, or how often he masturbates.  Men are not asked to cover themselves up to be less tempting.

The time has come to stop the gross inequity between how men and women are perceived sexually.  Men in Afghanistan should be lectured to ‘look away’ if they feel tempted by a women’s beauty, not force the women remove his temptation by hiding under a burqa.  This implies that sexual assault is about sex, temptation, and desire.  More often its about power and control.

Stop blaming the sweet little corvette for being to tempting to carjackers and start arresting the carjackers.

Waking up today, the skies were blue and the sun was blindingly bright as it hit the courtyard of my guesthouse.  The rows of rose bushes glistened as the gardener finished watering them and the air smelled cool and clean with several hours to go before the hot dust of the day settled in.   Doves have been roosting in the eves above my door, and their close proximity of their coos drowned out the noise of the city starting to wake up outside the walls of my guesthouse.

I walk across the stone path through the garden courtyard with a smile on my face, basking for a moment in the patch of warm sunshine.   I look across the courtyard where a piles of sandbags is stacked 8 feet high, and next to it, bundles of barbed wire – both ready to added to the already heavily fortified exterior walls.   One of the security guards walks by and nods at me, his gun slung casually across his shoulders, and the sound of low flying helicopters drowns out the morning activities of the resident doves.

It’s a portrait for Kabul as a city, and Afghanistan as a country, pockets of peace thriving in a warzone.   Behind walls and heavily guarded gates are rose gardens, pockets of calm within the storm. Guesthouses, cafes, and private residences nurture these patches of color in a city bathed in shades of brown, safely behind concrete walls and unmarked steel gates.  In a city where nothing much grows, these gardens are an oasis to those that have access to them.

As I drink my tea I think about people in the streets outside, going to work, entering the fray of the Kabul commuter hour chaos.  Recent months have seen a distinct upswing on attacks inside Kabul; the Intercontinental Hotel, British Embassy, US Embassy, the assassination of the High Peace Council leader and former President Rabanni, and the suspected CIA compound as recently as two nights ago.  Afghans are growing increasingly anxious as the steel ring of Kabul’s security fails again and again, and its Afghan citizens that are most often caught in the crossfire.

Its easy to forget the violence after a few days of calm, to spend a few hours working in a café, behind locked gates with armed guards, in a rose garden, with wifi, coffee, and good food.  But walk down the streets of Kabul, in the dust, amongst the Afghans and the tension is palpable.  There is an edge to the city, average citizens waiting on tenderhooks for the next eruption of gunfire, without the benefit of a rose garden to hide in, and no peace in sight.

I almost spilled my coffee when I read this on Media Matters this morning. Thinking it must be a mistake, I read on:

Why did this attractive blonde female reporter wander into Tahrir Square last Friday? Why would she think this was a good idea? Did she not see the violence in the square the last three weeks? Did she not see the rock throwing? Did she miss the camels? What was she thinking?

Well, Jim, here’s a newsflash: this is sexist BS, pure and simple. Lara Logan didn’t wander. She wasn’t in Tahrir Square because she took a wrong turn. She knew exactly where she was and why. Lara Logan was in the square on purpose, covering the revolution in Egypt because IT’S HER JOB. What in the world does attractive and blonde have to do with it? Are you suggesting that she was inviting rape because she is an attractive blonde? Did anyone suggest that Anderson Cooper was attacked repeatedly in Cairo because he is handsome or that Google executive, Wael Ghonim, was kidnapped because he is young and “cute”?

I am tall, blonde and the hardworking founder of Mountain2Mountain, a nonprofit organization working to advance gender equity in Afghanistan and create opportunity for woman and girls. Some may say that I am attractive.

I read most of the online commentary and media coverage about my work in Afghanistan and the comment “tall and blonde” is a frequent lead to stories about me. I get it. I’m tall and blonde, and I stand out in Afghanistan. Does this make me, or Lara Logan, ineffective at what we do? Does it mean we shouldn’t go about our work because of how we look? Judge us on the work we do, not on what we look like.

Even more despicable is your use of a woman’s attractiveness as an excuse for sexual assault. My own rape and assault was a long time ago, very few people knew about it, and I wasn’t a public figure like Lara. Luckily for me, years later, when I did talk about it publicly, it was not front-page news. You should not castigate Lara Logan because she’s an “attractive blonde female reporter.” She is a reporter who, while heroically covering one of the most important events of the decade, was the victim of a terrible crime. Period.

The other thing that disturbs me about the coverage is pinning the attack on culture. The Daily Beast articlestates: “Logan faced an ugly side of Egypt that Egyptian and foreign women here are all too familiar–and fed up–with.” I can only imagine how the Fox News coverage will spin this into the Islamaphobia-sphere.

Women all over the world are facing the “ugly side” of culture, and we are fed up with it. Congolese women are raped as weapons of war and as a means to frighten and control them. Afghan women are jailed or ostracized for being raped and brutalized and, to add insult to injury, often victimized and assaulted inside the prison by male guards. Women are raped systematically in war zones and developing countries for a variety of reasons that dehumanize them.

But let’s not forget what happens right here at home.

My own rape was in Minnesota. My sister’s was in Colorado. Every two minutes, someone in the United States is sexually assaulted. That’s 1 in 6 women. While rape victims are not routinely jailed as they are in some countries, neither are their attackers. The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) estimates that only 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail.

News came out this week that Donald Rumsfeld and Robert Gates are being sued over their failure to deal with the cases of rape and sexual assault in our own military. A group of American servicemen and women accuse the two of failing “to take reasonable steps to prevent plaintiffs from being repeatedly raped, sexually assaulted and sexually harassed by federal military personnel.”

Sexual assault is not a problem that belongs only to the Middle East, the developing world and war zones. This is a systemic problem that spans the globe, including our own backyard. It is rooted in how we value women. How do you change perceptions of value and respect? Things will never change until violence against women moves from a women’s right issue to a human rights issue that EVERYONE gets behind. Using World Bank data for 2008, there were 2,982,865,203 women of all ages; approximately 44.3% of the total world population. Nearly 3 billion mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends.

Recently, Ben Affleck said, “As long as violence against women, sexually or otherwise, remains exclusively a women’s issue, it will always be an issue. We men must own this and we must recognize it as vital to our own survival. And we must help our brothers see it as such.”

Rape is a weapon of control and of power. Until we all stand up and take a hard look at the realities of perception, accusation, and systematic dehumanization that occur all around us, this “problem” will never be resolved.

Jim. You owe Lara Logan an apology. And another three billion for every women in the world.

Here we are, living in United States, the so-called bastion of equality, in the year 2011.  We have the vote and  the legalese to ensure our place among men as equals.

And yet.

The talk this week around the water cooler by a group of men that should know better, tears apart my motivations and abilities to work in Afghanistan.  The comments at the bottom of online news stories that call me an unfit mother or rant that I have no right to do what I do because of the ongoing military conflict,  have so far been all men.  I know I’ve read them all and took them to heart.

You want to hear me roar?

Call me a barbie.  Say I’m naive.  I’m crazy.  I’m reckless.  Tell me its impossible.

Dismiss me  by my blond hair, my gender, or my audacity.

Damn right I’m audacious.  I’m also unconvential, impulsive, direct, and fearless.   I’m also a woman.  And a mother.   You act as if that’s a bad thing.  No, you act as if I don’t have the right.  BECAUSE I’m a woman and a mother.   The controversy isn’t that I risked everything to start working in Afghanistan, or that I did it without a degree in international development, or that it means I have to spend time away from  my daughter, or that it without security, or that I became the first person to bike across the Panjshir province.  The controversy is my gender.

Men are doing what I do.  Fathers are doing what I do.  I don’t hear the same commentary.  I don’t see their experience, motivations, or mental sanity questioned.  Its the same in the mountaineering world.  Men risk their lives to climb the highest peaks in the world, and many die every year.  They are sung a heros song, celebrating their lives as trail blazers. And the women?  Those that climb the same peaks have their motivations and their motherhood questioned, and the few that meet the same unfortunate demise are vilified as irresponsible and reckless.

Sitting on the sidelines has never changed the world.  Turning a blind eye doesn’t bring justice to those victimized.  I’m not going to do either just because I’m a woman and a mother.  I refuse to bow to apathy.  I’m going to jump in, and when you jump, there’s risk.

But here’s what you don’t see when you seeing me leaping, seemingly reckless, into the deep end.  I checked the water when you were looking the other way.  I know how to swim in these depths.  I made sure of it.

Don’t dismiss my blond hair and broad smile as one of a Pollyanna thinking she can change the world with rainbows and unicorns.  I’m doing it with sweat, blood, and tears.  Covered in mud, under headscarves, fighting injustice in the murkiest waters, where others dare not swim.

Reckless I am not.  Impulsive?  You bet.  Do you know that I studied Afghanistan for years before I ever started working there?  Did you know that I lived abroad for ten years, living in other cultures and learning how to swim in their waters?  Did you know that I worked for myself since my early twenties, creating a job and later a business, out of sweat, guts, and sheer stubborness?  Do you know the relationships I have developed with Afghans and how their invaluable advice and opinions have shaped the prism in which I measure risk, and give me the freedom to ride my bike in a country where women don’t.  It was Afghan’s that taught me and encouraged me to ride a motorcycle in the back streets of Kabul.  It was Afghan’s that invited me into their homes to discuss girls education and rural health care.  It was Afghans that offered me the chance to ride a buzkahsi horse before a match, and taught me to fish in the Panjshir river.  It was Afghans that told me, yes you can ride your bike here.

That doesn’t make me reckless or crazy.  It makes me curious, adventurous, and yes, audacious.

Naive?  Definitely not.  Idealist?  maybe.   I know that the realities.  I know the risks.  I know that this is a country that may not be able to claw its way into the 21st century, much less back to where it was in the 1960′s.  The cards are stacked against me and others like me, succeeding.  There will be women and girls that are still raped, abused, and victimized, but guess what.  That happens in our own country.   But I am not going to throw my hands up and say ‘its impossible’.  The lives we affect, are forever changed, and those lives will affect others, and so on.

You want to throw labels?  Here’s one.  Coward.   You stand back, safe on shore, have never spoken with me, and base your assumptions on my appearance and my gender?   How dare you.  That you would fall back on the basest of stereotypes in order to dismiss me is an insult to men and women alike.

So stand back and watch, because the dye has been cast.  Crazy isn’t a fact – its an opinion.  So is impossible.

While you are standing there watching, open your ears, because the sleeping lions are waking up – and man are they going to roar!

Everyone’s favorite witch, Christine O’Donnell, sparked the catchphrase back in September telling her opponent, Mike Castle , “this is not a bake-off, get your man-pants on.”   Alaska’s grizzly mama herself, Sarah Palin, followed suit telling the men out there to repeatedly “Man Up” in various stump speeches, while Nevada’s Sharron Angle entered it into her live debate against a shocked Harry Reid, saying, “Man up, Harry Reid.”  Many other female candidates are following suit, endorsing not only the catch phrase, but the concept that men would be better politicians if they acted more like, well, men.

Colorado’s Jane Norton deployed the M-bomb against Ken Buck, accusing him of not being ‘man enough’ to run attack ads against her instead of allowing special interest groups to do it for him.  Further lowering the tone, Buck hit back with, “vote for me, I don’t wear high heels”.  Tit for tat spiraling the gender argument into the gutter.   Or a 3rd grade playground fight.

Guess what?  I don’t need to see Tarzan like chest pounding from any candidate, male or female to decide my vote.  I need substance.  Don’t think your male counterpart followed his moral compass, or stood up for what he said he believed in? Fine. Use your big words.  Don’t resort to childish rhetoric ala playground talking points.  If I wanted to hear a 5-year-old’s discourse, I’d listen to my kindergartener.

It sickens me enough to see politics played out on television like a badly written, poorly acted, daytime soap opera.  Don’t debase it further by immunizing the strength of solid women entering the political arena around the world with mama-grizzly one-offs. We are better than that.

Women’s empowerment does not stem from telling men they are flaccid, weak, individuals in order to appear tough enough to run against them.  Nor does it come from going for the cheap hit under the belt for audience applause.  My inner feminist would be appalled to see a man debate a female candidate’s performance based on the length of her skirt, and I’d feel exactly the same if ‘my team’ pitches the first lo-ball.

All of this ‘manning up’ flies in the face of several key campaigns erupting around the country focused on women as the changemakers.  The California-based Women’s Conference just wrapped up its annual conference, focusing on empowering women as the architects of change.  While innovative campaigns like The Girl Effect have sparked the global agenda by rethinking the role of girls as the solutions to third world poverty.

Not because they are ‘man enough’ to do the job.  But precisely because they are WOMEN,with their own unique attributes and qualities.  Women have fought to have a place in the debate, to represent themselves in government and in global policy and the world’s leaders are now listening.  We don’t need to prove we’re men to remain there.

UNIFEM’S 2010 Open Days on Women, Peace and Security celebrated the 10 year anniversary  of resolution 1325, with meetings in conflict areas designed to “enable direct dialogue between women’s peacebuilding organizations and women community leaders, and senior UN representation at the country level. The purpose was to seek women’s views on means of improving implementation of resolution 1325. These open and inclusive forums for women peacebuilders and activists also provided the opportunity to deepen local ownership of the resolution.”

I see these campaigns and conferences as major rethinks of the female role in society.  Girls looked upon as solutions to poverty, rather than the victims.  Women as part of the process of peace and security, rather than sitting on the sidelines waiting for it to come to them.  Not because we needed to alienate men from the table, but because we deserved to sit there with them.

Man Up?  No Thanks.  I can be a strong, empowered woman, without the trousers.

“Afghan women are like sleeping lions, when awoken, they can play a wonderful role in any social revolution.”

- Meena Keshwar Kamal(1956-1987)

“If elected I will face up to the old men with guns that destroyed our country. Now it is our turn to fight with them.”

- Sabrina Sagheb - age 25

Sabrina Sagheb represents the sleeping lion now awaking for a fight throughout Afghanistan.  This 25-year-old parliamentary candidate in the 2005 elections campaigned on a platform of liberal reform and gender equality, with a campaign poster that raised more than a few eyebrows across Kabul.  The term ‘charm offensive’ sums it up best.  A beautiful and modern young woman, educated in Iran, she hoped to make the wearing of the burkha a matter of choice for all women and advocates an end to forced marriages.  She lost, but became a symbol of women’s rights a mere 4 years after the Taliban were pushed aside.

In a time where female candidates, activists, and leaders are routinely targeted, attacked, and assassinated, its hard to not swell with pride when more young women like Sabrina stand up today and publicly voice their dissent.  When conservative critics voice their disgust with her campaign and call her ‘un-Islamic’ in hopes of getting her to back down, she calmly replies, “If you are not happy with me, then don’t vote for me.”

But there are men that will be.  Young men like Muhammad Naseen, who are ready for a change, regardless of gender.  ”We have already voted in a lot of men. Now it is time for change.”

Change like that of another candidate in Herat, Nahid Ahmadi Farid, a young lioness of one, who enters the fray armed with a political science degree from George Washington University in Washington, D.C.

“We don’t want regrets and we don’t want to suffer another five years. We don’t want the same problems again,” Farid says. “I have stood up because of the problems Afghan women are facing. We have been behind walls for the past 30 years and no one was listening to our voice.

These women, and others like them across the country are taking enormous risks to themselves and their families to fight for equality and a brighter future for their country.  They fight against the decades of oppression forced upon them during the Soviet and Taliban times.  They fight against the corruption and abuse in the current government that only last year signed into law a bill that essentially legalized marital rape.

They have a role model in Meena Keshwar Kamal, the passionate founder of RAWA, Revolutionary Association of the Women of Afghanistan, assassinated in 1987.  She was an outspoken activist and feminist that founded the organization in 1977 when she was still a student at Kabul University.  RAWA’s manifesto is to promote equality and education for women and strive to “give voice to the deprived and silenced women of Afghanistan.”  The organization still operates today, underground, under great risk, but also with great success, running orphanages and schools under different names to avoid attack.  Meetings are held in secret locations, always changing, to continue the work Meena started, despite the risks.

Meena’s assassination at only 30 years old, did not deter RAWA, and their statement regarding her death demonstrates that her warrior spirit lives on.  ”The enemy was rightly shivering with fear by the love and respect that Meena was creating within the hearts of our people. They knew that within the fire of her fights all the enemies of freedom, democracy and women would be turned to ashes.”

That fire is sparking again after the Taliban systemically fought to repress it and the Karzai government refuses to enforce the constitutional rights afforded them since their defeat.  Women activists are breathing life into the dormant coals and finding that there are others ready to fight alongside them.  It is up to all of us to not just encourage that fight, but to take up arms alongside them.

Rambo is no Sly Stallone.  A slight, innocuous looking Afghan.  He is, however, hell-bent on defending the US forces, and earned his nickname from the troops that bear witness to his loyalty each and every day.  Literally.

His weapon of choice?  A baseball bat.  Upgraded recently from his previous weapon, a lead pipe with tape wrapped around one end.

His target?  Anyone that would threaten Camp Phoenix.  The NATO coalition base on the eastern side of Kabul.   To date, he has singlehandedly prevented two suicide bombers.  He is now official security and has taken this role to heart.  Standing outside the gates every day for the past 7 years to.  Rumor is he has taken off 5 days in the past 5 years.

His first save was Rambo-esqe when he literally disarmed a suicide bomber in his car with nothing more than his instinct of danger and lead pipe.

A former tank commander during the Soviet era, his wife and child were killed by a Taliban attack. He was working as a front gate guard for a driving company at what is now Camp Phoenix when the Americans rolled in.  He hasn’t left since.  He became a household name at Camp Phoenix, the nickname stuck, and a legend was born.  In 2007 USA Today wrote about it, President Bush commended him, and his fellow soldiers rallied to buy him a television and help find jobs for his two sons.

Since then he has been part of several would-be attack preventions, not just protecting the US but all of the coalition forces that call Camp Phoenix home during their tours.

He wears a camouflage uniform that’s covered with patches from every unit that has rotated through Camp Phoenix.  Soldiers count him as one of them, a loyal protector, willing to die for them.

“Whenever the Americans leave, I will leave,” he has said. “As long as they want me to stay, I will stay.”

Elections are always a time for unrest in Afghanistan. Its an unfortunate fact that violence ramps up as a means to deter voters and disrupt the process. The streets in Kabul are literally blanketed with hundreds of posters, every roundabout or wall is covered, and large billboards are erected haphazardly. The candidates represented in the large-scale photography chaos take enormous risks to run for office. Many are threatened with assassination, three are already confirmed dead by the Taliban.  Its not just candidates. Campaign workers are also targets, just last week the bodies of five campaign workers were found slain in Kandahar. Candidates, election officials, and voters alike will take great risks to exercise their right to run for office, and vote, regardless of security concerns.

Despite the tension, I am back in Afghanistan to move several of our development projects forward while observing the upcoming election.

Driving down the poster-strewn streets from the airport, I soon entered the ‘Ring of Steel’ of security checkpoints that surround the city center. There are actually signs up that declare you are entering the ring, a new security ‘improvement’ since last visit.  Ironic as not once was our car, a beat up Corolla, searched or stopped.  I have made my own plans to minimize the increased risk in the election lead up, knowing that its a precarious upcoming few days.

What I hadn’t accounted for was the heightened levels of violence and protests this weekend across the country resulting from one ignorant man in Florida. The threat of a 9-11 Koran burning wasn’t just ignorant from the perspective of tolerance, religious freedom, and respect. It wasn’t just tasteless to take the focus on 9-11 off those that lost loved ones and turn it into a sideshow, turning a day of mourning and remembrance into a twisted Islamaphobic protest. It wasn’t just dangerous to fan the fire sparking between Christians and Muslims worldwide.

It was also bigoted, reckless, and nauseating. Our country is great because of the freedoms we have. People of all religions and races and nationalities have travelled from afar to call America home because of these freedoms. This is not something anyone, of any faith, should take lightly. ALL beliefs deserve respect and are afforded the freedom to practice under our constitution. That’s the beauty of it.

The Florida minister has the freedom to burn the Koran should he wish, as others have the freedom to destroy the Bible or Torah under the same laws.  But actions have consequences.  Proof in point?  Another anti-American riot exploded today in Kabul in protest to his publicized plan.

Threats degrading Islam, like Koran burning, play into the hands of the Taliban by fueling the mis-belief that this is war against Islam versus a war against terroists. Fueling this fire puts our troops and international forces further at risk.

It also puts journalists, humanitarian organizations, and development aid workers at greater risk. Those like me, that choose to work in Afghanistan to help rebuild, educate, and create stability get thrown into the fire as well. I watched the news before flying into Afghanistan, with growing anger to see what a bigot with some media attention can do to rock an already unstable boat.

We’ve been here several times before. The communist-hunting by McCarthy’s trials. The Japanese internment camps in California. Why are we so keen to demonize with such broad strokes entire nationalities or religions? It seems to me that each time we do, we weaken our country a little more. Our strength is in our diversity, our weakness in our fear and racism.

As a nation built on the principles of religious freedom, equality, and the pursuit of happiness, we should remember that it’s the melting pot that made us a vibrant leader on the world stage.  As Afghanistan holds its elections this Saturday, we need to set a better example of tolerance and equality.  We should hold fast to those ideals our country was founded upon that we tout as the basis for democracy in other countries.

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through
experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition
inspired, and success achieved. ” Helen Keller.

A friend posted these words on Facebook today, and as I am struggling to create a foundation to empower communities in Afghanistan, be the best mother I can possibly be to my young daughter, and still find the energy and passion to be ME,  I find I need to dig deep.  These words are powerful, not just because I see its truth in all those I admire, but also because of who said them.  Someone who knows a little something about trial and suffering, about courage, and about the strength of the human spirit.  Something I see mirrored in the women in Afghanistan.  Like the deaf headmistress in Kabul at the school we are building, sitting in front of the camera like a modern day Madonna.

Having dedicated all of my limited financial resources three years ago to create and develop a non profit, Mountain2Mountain, to empower women and their communities in Afghanistan, I am facing the dark creep of doubt that sneaks in when times get tough.  If it was easy – everyone would do it I guess.  Having my young daughter, Devon, counting on me weighs heavily when faced with the realization that time’s a tickin’ and if I don’t complete the circle soon, I’ll be begging Starbuck’s for a job so I can pay the rent.

But the risk is so worth it.  Devon deserves to grow up in a world where her mother fought against the acceptance of rape, the oppression of women, and for the rights of girls her age to get the most basic access to education and healthcare.

The irony is that I now get why the ‘women who lunch in Chanel suits’ are often the ones most philanthropically active.  They can afford to be.  In order to make the sweeping changes needed to launch Mountain2Mountain, and to keep it moving forward while we develop our projects and programs in Afghanistan, it has meant that I’m struggling more than I ever have in my life.  Yet it all stems from my own struggle to assimilate my experience with sexual violence in my youth that led me down this path.  I can’t turn my back, I have to believe we will find the funding, we are too close to be hamstrung by something as mundane as money!

As my close girlfriend said on the phone a few weeks back, “you are so close, I can taste it”, and she’s right.  Our bold, innovative approach has developed because of my ability to get over to Afghanistan repeatedly to listen and learn.  We are so close to finding the funding, the sponsorships, the support that will sustain our growth and allow our programs to flourish across Afghanistan.   We are too close to fail.

Someday I’ll look back at this time and either laugh, cry, or breathe a sigh of relief.  For now, I work on knowing that what doesn’t kill us, only makes us stronger.   And I can’t let Devon down.

photo credit Di Zinno

So said the headline of the Vancouver Sun this weekend.  ”Women’s rights will be the first casualty of surrender in Afghanistan.”  The article discusses Canada’s role in Afghanistan and makes the argument that those involved in the international conflict need to look beyond the desire to find the quickest exit strategy and instead take a stand for human rights.   This article was written from the Canadian perspective, but you could easily substitute the United States, Sweden, Germany, or England, among the many involved in Afghanistan.

“Arguments surface today when we raise our voices about violence against women in other countries. We are told that violations of women’s rights are part of someone else’s culture, and that we have no business interfering. We should just mind our own affairs.

In fact, it is those of us inclined to believe that human rights are a Western invention who are most vulnerable to this argument. If the right to food and dignity is as cultural as casual Fridays at the office, it may indeed seem offensive to criticize others for alternative practices. But this is like suggesting that the need to eat is a peculiarly Canadian characteristic. The right to equal treatment, education, and freedom from violence are not specific to one culture. They are universal entitlements that are valued as ardently among Afghan women as our own.”

The words sent a chill through my spine.  This is why I founded Mountain2Mountain.  This is why I believe we can be catalysts for change.  Its why I believe that the women and girls of Afghanistan are the solutions, not the just the victims.

We CAN be the change we wish to see in the world.  We can insist upon human rights and gender equity for all, regardless of culture or geographic boundary.  Not only CAN we.  We MUST.

photo by Di Zinno