Less and More

“held on as tightly as you held on me….

held on as tightly as you held on me….”

tears streaming down my face… the pull of the emotion of the music and its lyrics hits as hard as the vision of what my lift could have been, might have been, if only… if only one night 19 years ago hadn’t happened.

now years later… I’m LESS.

less passionate

less emotional

less graceful

less naive

I haven’t danced in 19 years.

The pull of a dancer to the exquisite heartbreak of a haunting melody cannot be expressed by my body anymore.  I feel it, deep in the heartbeat of my soul, but my body no longer has the flexibility, balance, or grace to translate that emotion.

That loss hurts as much as the loss of the man I once loved.  Both belong to other people in other lives now.

Yet that loss makes me realize the pain I am capable of feeling.  The antithesis of indifference.

making me MORE.

more resiliant

more aware

more confident

more loving

more vulnerable

more ME

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